Oysters, Caves and Robin Williams

There are two kinds of feelings.  (Ok, there are more than two, but for the purposes of this blog there are only two today).  The first is that the world is your oyster.  By the way, what does that even mean?  I mean, I know what it MEANS, but what are they talking about?  I assume it has something to do with pearls.  But, am I the only one who hears that expression and thinks "I don't want my life to be a disturbingly veiny booger like mollusk."

It doesn't matter anyway, pearls or boogers aside, my world isn't an oyster today.  My world is the cave of wonders in Aladdin. Now, stick with me here... its not that much of a stretch. 

"Only one may enter!"  "Touch nothing but the lamp!"

My life feels like the cave of wonders.  I have a goal at the end of the cave.  I have to navigate my way to it, with out getting distracted by all the shiny's.  There are several paths to take, and most of them would probably lead some place cool, but I need to choose the right one in order to get the lamp at the end. I also have a money hungry asshole monkey sidekick, who may or may not screw everything up at any moment. At this point I am SO close!  I mean, it is RIGHT there!  I can see it!  I just have to hop over a few stones, and climb a hill and I HAVE it.  But... Those stones are looking pretty far apart, and it is a pretty damn steep hill.  I've navigated my way through all the shiny's to get here, but, this might be the toughest part.  And who knows when some asshole is going to throw a wrench into everything and pick up the freaking ruby. 

So, I am hopping over the stones, one by one. Good grades... Hop! Volunteer work.... Hop! Interview for a research assistant job... Hop! Good relationships with peers and employers.... Hop, hop!  I have a few more stones to jump over, then a hefty trudge up a hill, then I am there!  Graduation! Denver! Grad school! But so much is still out of my control.  I don't get to decide when and where someone else is going to pocket a ruby and piss off the cave. 

So, lets say the trudge up the hill goes perfectly!  No one pisses off the cave, and I reach the lamp.  Its mine!  Sort of... I still need to get out of the stupid cave.  I have to navigate my way out, taking the right path, and not getting distracted.  And who knows what distractions await me on the way back, I might have missed something really cool on the way in.  We all know I have shiny object syndrome, the worst place to have that is in the god damn cave of wonders!  And when I do get out of the cave, there is probably going to be a wizard in drag trying to take my hard earned lamp.  There is always a wizard in drag.

So, I have all these things in the cave of wonders, all of these decisions to make!  And I am the only one allowed in the cave.  So, its all on me.  Don't get me wrong, I have the monkey, a magic carpet and Robin Williams for support, but I am calling all the shots.  So if I make a bonehead move, my support system will be there, but I still am responsible for finding my own way out of the cave. 

Moral of the story?  It's crunch time folks.